The Clever Apprentice

By Steve Brunkhorst
http://www.AchieveEzine.com

Our children are our most important legacy to the world. However, our love is our most important legacy to our children. Here are seven ways to show love that will help children build sturdy foundations for the future.

1. Spend Time with Your Children.

Time is the most loving gift we can give to our children. It allows for the mutual exchange of ideas, emotions, actions, and words that help our children develop and learn to communicate.

Enjoy a toddler’s tea parties as well as a teen’s ball games. Help your children build things and create art. Begin new family traditions that you can enjoy together each year. Ample time spent in mutually enjoyable activities will create memories you will always treasure.

2. Be the Primary Role Model for Your Children.

Children need examples to follow. Teach practical values to your children by modeling those values. Admit when you have made a mistake and apologize. Model being committed to the ideals you embrace. Demonstrate the advantage of integrity over peer pressure.

We teach and influence children more through actions than words. We are our children’s first heroes; the ideals that we live today are the ideals that will influence our children throughout life.

3. Listen to Your Children.

A child’s message is one of his or her most essential gifts. We build self-esteem in children when we show interest in what they have to say. Children need to communicate their pride of accomplishment as well as their needs.

Get down at eye level with very young children and listen with your eyes, ears, and heart. Listen most of all to the feelings conveyed through a child’s eyes and expressions. If you listen to your children deeply, they will grow up listening deeply to you.

4. Provide Your Children with Loving Discipline.

Children need guidelines and safe boundaries without being constrained unnecessarily. They need to learn the value of being accountable for their choices and actions.

Let your children know that you disapprove of hurtful actions but will always love them as sons and daughters. Loving discipline enables them to recognize the best in other people. It allows children the freedom to explore the world safely and reach their highest potential.

5. Give Your Children Encouragement.

Encouraging words are powerful emotional deposits of confidence and self-esteem. Verbally acknowledge your children’s special talents and accomplishments. Catch your children doing something great, and tell them what a great job they have done.

Children need to know that we recognize and support their hopes and dreams for the future. Encouraging children to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually provides the foundation for living a balanced life.

6. Share Your Experiences with Your Children.

We each have valuable stories to tell, unique maps of our journey through life. These stories tell how our reactions to events created the life we are living now. Sharing the benefit of your experiences the roadblocks and rewards is a very loving way to guide your children.

Your children may face many of the situations you faced. Your experiences can help them make informed decisions and avoid unnecessary mistakes. Among the most worthwhile possessions that we can someday leave for our children are journals filled with the stories that shaped our lives.

7. Love and Support Your Children Unconditionally.

Love is an unconditional gift from the heart; it is not a reward for good behavior. Let your children know that you will love and support them in any situation. This message creates a sturdy bond of trust. Your children will grow to feel safe in coming to you with any problem they face.

Children need the freedom to make decisions, try new things, and learn that life requires personal responsibility and persistence. They need the freedom to fail and learn from mistakes without being judged. Unconditional love helps them to acquire the decisiveness and resiliency required to become successful.

If you could sum up all of our children’s needs, hopes, and expectations in one word, that word would be love. We share love when we play a central role in our children’s world of learning and discovery. Our legacy of love will have a guiding influence upon our children and grandchildren for many generations.

About the Author

© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com

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A Doberman Pinscher owner sent me this question:

“Dear Adam: I loved your book, “Secrets of a Professional Dog Trainer!” and your web site, Dogproblems.com.

They have been very helpful.

My biggest training problem right now has to do with potty training. My dog is a 5 month-old Doberman female. About 2 months ago she had a bladder infection, so she started not making it through the night. She would pee in her crate and then whine that she had to go out. We have since taken her to the vet and given her the entire dose of antibiotics and the infection is all cleared up. She makes it through the night fine now, but if we have to lock her in her crate during the day she pees in her crate.

She doesn’t seem to have too much separation anxiety, although I remember reading somewhere that Dobermans are prone to this. We let her outside to do her business and then lock her up a few minutes before we leave and she is quiet during that time. When we get home she is asleep or quiet. We wait a few minutes after getting home during which she is quiet, maybe whines a little, before we let her out. The only problem is that there is a puddle of pee at the bottom of her crate. We leave a few toys for her to chew on while she is in there, but nothing else, no bedding just the plastic of the bottom of the crate. She doesn’t seem to mind laying in it and we usually have to give her a bath when we get home. I’m not sure if I should punish her for this cause I know the timing is WAY off, but it’s getting so frustrating I don’t know what else to do.

I should also mention that we don’t have to be gone for this to happen. If she is locked up because while we are home, she does the same thing. She is generally quiet while she is in there, but after an hour or so she will whine loudly and when we get to her, there is already a puddle.

Thank you for your help. I look forward to implementing your advice.

Sincerely,
Tim

Dear Tim:

When you remove her from the crate after she urinates, be sure to clean the area thoroughly with an enzyme cleaner. This will break down the urine at the molecular level so its scent will be completely gone, not just covered up.

You should also limit her time in the crate to lower the chances of this happening. Only leave her confined when absolutely necessary or when she cannot be supervised. Along with this, it would be helpful to limit her water intake to a strict schedule and when she does drink, take her outside and let her relieve herself after a period of time.

Depending on the dog’s condition (hot and panting versus calm and tired), water will go through their system in anywhere from 20-45 minutes. If you put her in the crate immediately after she urinates outside, she might be less inclined (and able) to use the crate as a bathroom.

About the Author: Adam G. Katz is the author of the book, “Secrets of a Professional Dog Trainer: An Insider’s Guide To The Most Jealously Guarded Dog Training Secrets In History.” Get a free copy of his report “Games To Play With Your Dog” when you sign up for his free weekly dog training tips e-zine at:
http://www.dogproblems.com

Source: www.isnare.com

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How are you smart?

Let me count the ways.

Harvard professor Howard Gardner was the first to describe the concept of Multiple Intelligences. According to this widely-accepted theory, we are each born with a certain amount of intelligence in each of eight areas, and we have the potential to harness or develop each of these throughout our lives.

In 1983, Gardner first described seven intelligences: linguistic, logical/mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily/kinesthetic, interpersonal and intrapersonal. He later added an eighth: naturalistic.

Nothing too earth-shaking about this. We all know gifted writers (using words), engineers (using numbers), artists (manipulating spaces), musicians (inspired by sound), athletes (using physical skills), counselors (understanding others), and biologists (passionate about nature).

But here’s the one I find most interesting: intrapersonal. According to Gardner, someone with great intrapersonal intelligence enjoys spending time alone, likes being still in their own space, is especially adept at understanding themselves, and is inspired by contemplation.

Now, remember that each of us has at least a little of all eight kinds of intelligence, with one or two areas being the most dominant. Although we can increase our abilities in all areas, we are naturally attracted to certain activities. A person with dominant or developed intrapersonal intelligence is likely to be innately interested in silent contemplation and naturally drawn to meditation.

So….what about everybody else? If meditation comes easily to only a small percentage of the population, why is it that all approaches to mindfulness require sitting still and focusing inward?

If we use Multiple Intelligences theory as a way to recognize our different learning styles and natural tendencies, we see that there must be a number of ways to develop mindfulness without relying solely upon meditation.

Teachers around the globe are employing Multiple Intelligences theory in the classroom in order to prepare lessons that appeal to the learning styles of all types of students. The ultimate goal of learning specific material is the same no matter what, but this enlightened approach to teaching is inclusive and exhilarating.

If meditation fits only ONE of the eight intelligences (intrapersonal) we are missing out on seven other areas in which we can learn–and teach– mindfulness! Being attached to a single approach is decidedly limiting and downright archaic.

If you find it difficult to get motivated to meditate, consider this: perhaps your particular combination of multiple intelligences would benefit from a different approach to mindfulness.

In other words, it’s not you–it’s the teacher! Or, more precisely, the teachings.

If meditation isn’t working for you, take heart. There are seven other areas in which mindfulness training can inform, inspire and delight you.

That’s what counts.

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches fun and powerful eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com.